Just landed in Dayton, Ohio after a long overnight trip from SFO. While waiting in Denver on a layover, you checked your phone to see the news: After almost a week of confusion and uncertainty, Sam Altman has been reinstated as CEO of OpenAI.
The good news is that the Slack workspace of the small tech startup you work at will stop being flooded with memes, only a few of which are really good. Your colleagues may know how to code, but they don’t always have an eye for humor. No matter how happy you are, living your Silicon Valley dreams, it’s always nice to come home and get back to basics.
Mom: “Oh, my only son! I’m so glad you made it home! San Francisco is too far away!
You hug your mom and tell her how good it feels to be back. Your dad does that awkward brother hug where you put your hands together and then pat each other on the back, because even though it’s totally normal to say you love your dad, the man who literally raised you and changed your diapers when you were a kid . and he coached your little league team until he realized that computer science was more interesting to you than baseball: he has been socialized as a man and, therefore, is unable to tell his father that loves him.
Dad: “Busy week, huh? I saw that Sam Altman was back…what happened there?
There is. You don’t really want to talk about it: startup life is tough and demanding, and as much as you love what you do, you just want to spend a few days away from it all.
“Oh yeah, I’ll tell you later, let me put my bags away!” you say.
You walk up the stairs to your childhood bedroom. There’s a poster for “The Big Bang Theory” that makes you feel incredibly embarrassed, but you were in high school when you bought it.
You go back downstairs and start chopping some vegetables to help your father, whose hands are covered in turkey entrails. He rings the doorbell and suddenly the whole family enters.
Uncle Steve: “Hey! Long time no see! Too good for us now that you’re working at Facebook?”
You do the bro hug thing again, then clarify that you don’t work for Facebook and that the company is actually called Meta now anyway, but you’re actually really excited about the B2B SaaS company you’re working for and. ..
Uncle Steve: “Oh yeah, that Elon Musk, he’s really extraordinary, isn’t he? Change Facebook name to Meta?
You correct him by saying that Mark Zuckerberg is actually the CEO of Meta, but yes, Elon Musk bought Twitter and changed its name to X, and it’s been really crazy. Your college roommate, Pablo, got laid off last year and was really discouraged, and he finally found his footing, but at one point you even tried to get him a job at your B2B SaaS company, which is working on this really awesome thing. . —
Uncle Steve: “Right! That’s the Tesla guy! But that thing about ai, eh? What happened there?”
Here it comes. The conversation about OpenAI.
Fortunately, your aunt intervenes.
Aunt Carol: “Oh, Steve, it’s too early to talk business! What’s life like out there? Do you have a girlfriend?”
Somehow your Aunt Carol found the only topic you want to talk about less than OpenAI. Startup life is busy and you’re pretty sure your Tinder Elo scores it’s low since you barely open the app, and maybe that’s why you don’t get many matches? So, you turn.
“Yes, the OpenAI thing has been really crazy. They just randomly ousted CEO Sam Altman out of nowhere, and no one knew why, and then the president resigned too. Investors were furious because suddenly this company that was supposed to make them incredibly rich was thrown into chaos and no one knew how long this whole ordeal would last. Microsoft has a big stake in OpenAI, so they offered jobs to Sam and Greg, but then almost everyone who works at OpenAI said they would quit if Sam wasn’t reinstated, so it’s been a whirlwind… Oh, hey, what? No? Is the game on?
You take your uncles to the living room and turn on the television. You’re not a big football fan, but you know enough to get by. When you graduated from university and worked in consulting, you used to study football scores to have something to talk about at networking events, and sure enough, that’s what led you to your current job at this really exciting B2B SaaS startup that actually …
Uncle Steve: “Come on, Buckeyes!”
Your attention returns to football. As you learned in your summer session at Wharton, the best way to lead a conversation is to ask people questions about the things they like.
“I saw something about a buyout at Texas A&M, what happened there?”
Uncle Steve: “So during halftime, Texas A&M gets this huge $165 million check from a donor, and the next day, guess what? They fire their coach, Jimbo Fisher, and give him $76 million to terminate his contract! Sounds like something that would happen in your world, huh? By the way, I still don’t understand the whole OpenAI thing. They make that GTX Chat, right?
Oh no. Like many things he learned in that Wharton summer program, his knowledge backfired.
Your cousin Jennifer takes her eyes off her phone and speaks for the first time.
Cousin Jennifer: “No, Dad, it’s ChatGPT and Kayla used it to write her college essays and still Between”.
You excuse yourself to continue helping your parents prepare Thanksgiving dinner. As you peel potatoes, being careful to move the peeler away from you rather than closer, the doorbell rings again. It’s your Aunt Pat, who works at a medical billing company in Cleveland.
As you greet her and walk her to the family room, where the game is taking place, she tries to make small talk.
Aunt Pat: “Everyone at work is talking about ai! We use that Salesforce Einstein all the time. So, has OpenAI already got a new CEO?
“Oh, um, Sam Altman is back now, but before that, they appointed Emmett Shear, who founded Twitch. It’s a live streaming platform owned by Amazon, a lot of people use it to stream video games and stuff. Yes, people like to watch other people play video games.”
Cousin Jennifer: “Yes, my girlfriend is a VTuber.”
You desperately hope your aunts and uncles take the obvious bait and ask Jennifer what the hell a VTuber is. That would give you a few good minutes of peace. And VTubers are way cooler than ai executives. But no one follows up on that. You’re about to ask if Jennifer’s girlfriend has a mocap setup, when…
Uncle Steve: “Wait, does anyone really know what that Sam guy did wrong?”
“We don’t know yet, but the Chief Operating Officer Brad Lightcap said that most of the management team had no idea and that this was definitely not any kind of violation of financial or security standards. It’s possible that it all came down to ideology. Some people think Sam is too aggressive about building smarter ai as soon as possible, and in theory OpenAI is supposed to be building ai responsibly, and maybe he was going too fast to be responsible? But then there’s this whole other faction that thinks we can’t stop the inevitable, so everyone’s been fighting online about it. The official reason the board gave was that he wasn’t being transparent with them, but that really could mean anything! Personally, I’m glad they fixed everything before Thanksgiving, so I can really relax and stop thinking about everything.. Oh, I should go see if mom needs help with the casserole.”
They don’t get the hint.
Aunt Pat: “Don’t be silly, when we came in I saw that the casserole was already out of the oven. So what do you think of this whole ai thing? It certainly makes my job easier, but I don’t want it to take away my job, if you know what I mean!
“It’s hard to say right now. For now, I think it’s difficult for generative ai to replicate human creativity, but it can certainly automate tasks that would take humans longer to complete, which makes sense why it’s so useful for work. By the way, how’s work going?
Aunt Pat: “Oh, it’s vacation, I don’t want to talk about work. I’ve heard there have been a lot of layoffs in the Bay Area, do you think your job is safe?
“Yes, in fact, I think what my company is working on is very innovative and innovation is the best job security. We are a B2B SaaS startup and what differentiates us is that…
Aunt Pat: “Wait, wasn’t there something about the structure of the board that made this all so confusing? What happened again with the OpenAI dashboard?
You smell the unmistakable aroma of the turkey coming out of the oven. You take it back, knowing that in a few moments your interrogation will end.
“Hey, is OpenAI some kind of tax-exempt charity around a holding company that has a majority stake in OpenAI? It’s a little confusing. But it’s kind of an attempt to be a charity and a for-profit tech giant at the same time, but the nonprofit arm had control of the for-profit arm, which made it possible to fire the CEO at random. This is really different from how companies like Meta operate, since Mark Zuckerberg owns so much of the company that it is impossible for the board of directors to fire him.”
Dad: “Dinner is almost ready! Start heading to the table!
OMG, time for dinner! You take your time bringing each dish to the table, minimizing the time you’re alone with your family, who just won’t stop asking you about OpenAI. As everyone devours their plates, the conversation slows and you can finally revel in the peace of returning home.
Uncle Steve keeps making “aaah” noises every time he takes a sip of wine. You don’t think I can bother you anymore tonight, but hey, that’s family, right? Suddenly, he raises his eyebrows as if he just remembered something.
“So,” your uncle asks. “What’s the problem with that kind of CZ?”
