NEWSLETTER
First I realized that I wanted to be a teacher while I received my first mental health diagnosis. At that time, I was in an elite institution calculating with class, chronic imposture and loneliness syndrome. I went through ruthless insomnia states, dissociation and cerebral fog. I was tired and anxious all the time while I felt disconsolate from my condition.
My first year in education, my year of student education, was incredibly difficult. Giving clear instructions when my brain could barely understand my environment was difficult. In the midst of my anxiety, I could not read the room during the discussions throughout the class. I had days when my mind moved a mile per minute and my instructions were confused, and others where I could barely form a prayer. Most of the days, I stuttered when I spoke and was so uncomfortable in my skin that I could barely project my voice. For weeks, I would feel incredibly low, with sporadic days of high energy. Instead of seeking help, I would isolate and create self -destructive narratives about how horrible a teacher was. I felt aware of my failures every day.
To make things worse, I had a mentor master who made sure he was not doing a good job. When the hiring season arrived, my mentor master told me: “You are too shy to be hired.” When our time together ended, his final words were: “I'm not sure how long it will last as a teacher with what has to be happening.” I knew I was fighting, and to temper the tension between us, I chose to be vulnerable and share my mental diagnoses with it.
I kept fighting with the mechanics of teaching, especially the most essential part of being a teacher: presence. I felt more and more badly equipped for this profession. I left my year of student teaching feeling genuinely broken. What was happening with me left me feeling inadequate for this difficult work.
Despite the obstacles to me, I knew that all the anxiety and pain I felt was not something stimulated by my experience in the postgraduate school, but problems that had been there since I was a child. I realized that what I wanted to do with my life was to be there for other people, people fighting in the same way as me, with the same experiences I have had. The person I wanted to be there was the youngest version of myself.
The truth is that there has not been a day in my life in which I have not had problems with my mental health. The only difference is that I now have the tools and discipline to administer it sustainably. When I went into education for the first time, I wanted to be emotionally for young people. Now I realize that it is not just about being there for them, but about transmitting the skills I have acquired to live with me Neurodivergencia.
My teacher mentor's words were chased for years, but now I am proud to say that I am a fifth year teacher who has not only found a way of living with her. NeurodivergenciaBut he has learned to accept it and even adopt it as a tool that helps me provide the best education I can for my students. Not only that, but I have been able to merge the Scaffolding I have built for me with the scaffolding that I provide to the students.
Tools for students and teachers
If there is something that I have learned as a neurodivergente educator, is that a drain The world will not wait for me, so I must know what I need. In recent years, I learned that I cannot simply “wing” a lesson plan. Due to my anxiety, I need to know exactly what I am doing well in advance to be present for the needs of my students. To be present, I prepare widely because I accept that this is what I need to succeed.
As a result, I have created a graphic organizer where I write my instructions and Think of Alouuds. I write the early responses of the students to know when I hear what will allow me to evaluate the student's understanding. In addition, color code the parts of my command sequences where I must pause and verify understanding. I read my lessons plans before teaching. I have created systems in my lesson planning approach that keep me organized because I know I can't contain all this information in my brain.
I accept that I cannot offer a quality lesson without significant preparation. With the help of many therapists and psychiatrists, I have learned that this is fine. Not only that, but this level of preparation means that I can share my lessons with others and support the newest teachers if they need a reference.
Self -consciousness and organization I have found are skills that neurodiverse teachers can and should transmit to all our students, not only those with IEPS either 504s. We need to teach all our students the tools that are available for them, be it colors, statements, graphic organizers or prolonged time to help them become independent students. These are all the tools I use daily as an educator.
Now I understand that I need to start a task much earlier to complete it in time. These difficult lessons are those that I can authentically transmit to my students, not because I am trying to give them a hard love, but because I can speak from personal experience as someone who has had to find ways to scaffold professional expectations.
I still have days when I can't communicate as clearly as I want. As I know this, I write the instructions and expectations in a Friendly Verification List format for students In all my slides so that at least students can refer at least if I am struggling to give consistent instructions. As a result, the format of the verification list is a recurring accommodation given to many students with IEP is often discussed outside the context of special education as “fragment. “This level of preparation is one that I know I have to have due to my neurodivergencia, and not despite that.
Finally, although I do not reveal my diagnoses with my students, I am honest and transparent when I am having a bad mental health day. I will literally say: “I'm sorry, you, Mrs. E is on the fight bus today.” And if the students ask me what I mean with that, I will say: “I'm just struggling with my mental health.”
As a result, we have had honest conversations about some conditions, such as depression and anxiety. When choosing to be vulnerable and honest, I provide moments of teaching on disability For my students, otherwise they do not get otherwise. By telling them about me, I open a portal to a world where teachers are humanized instead of being seen as authority figures that simply distribute qualifications at the end of the semester.
Our differences are not loads
If I could return to the person that was when I began to teach student, I would tell you that all the things that make it different will end up being their super powers as an educator, even the things that seem to be a burden.
I think my disabilities are not a burden for my teaching practice because I know the importance of scaffolding, accommodations and Universal Design Learning. I know what it is to wake up and feel that the day ahead is impossible and use statements, exercise and meditation to support me mental resilience. I can tell my students the courage to build strength to pain because I also live that struggle.
My preparation, my heart and my diligence are the result of my neurodivergencia. Therefore, I am grateful and proud to say that I am writing this as someone who has found the necessary tools and strength to remain in education. Ultimately, everything I needed and continue using to succeed as a teacher is exactly what my students also need. Now I think that neurodivergente teachers are an asset for the classroom because we have direct experience with the difficulties of receiving information and processing it. We know how it is not to register anything the teacher said and be found with high eyebrows, as if we are poor students who do not pay attention. I know that students need radical patience, compassion, attention and curiosity, because that is what I needed as a classroom. In the end, “whatever was happening” with me is what kept me in the classroom and not out of that.
