Beyond Compliance: Building Relationships in Education

Key points:

Our country is witnessing the dedication of teachers serving in perhaps the most challenging times in history, and as a former educator and someone who supports educational leaders across the country in building stronger relationships, I know it is truly a turning point.

The current system continues to incentivize and pressure teachers to focus on compliance: fitting kids into neat boxes, sticking to standards, and checking off those endless lists. But if we really want to unlock the potential of our students and create a rich, engaging and positive learning environmentwe must prioritize building connections. It's time to shift our focus from compliance to truly knowing the bright young human beings in our classrooms.

When we challenge the system and push students beyond their limits and see them as individuals with unique backgrounds, dreams, and potential (despite the challenges they may face), something amazing happens: they begin to take charge of their own education. I have seen firsthand how students engage with the curriculum in new ways, grow in their personalities and foster transformative relationships when they are immersed in a high-quality learning environment and are able to be their most authentic selves.

Understand context beyond compliance

Our education system loves its labels: “at risk,” “underachieving,” “special needs,” “gifted and talented.” Labels can be useful: they help allocate resources, establish academic benchmarks, and guide interventions. But they don't tell the whole story and often create narratives that limit the potential of our students instead of unleashing their dreams.

I remember being labeled “at risk.” In my community, many children had that label. Some of us had single mothers, fathers who were incarcerated, or lived with our grandparents. Each of our situations was unique, but the etiquette was the same. The label didn't capture my potential, my dreams, or my resilience; it simply categorized me for funding and accountability purposes.

One of my elementary school teachers saw beyond that label. She knew my circumstances, but she didn't let that become an excuse to lower expectations. She built a meaningful relationship with me, not as my best friend or therapist, but as my educator. She understood the challenges I faced, but she did not “dumb down” the content or make me feel like I was inferior. She held me to high standards and gave me the support I needed to achieve them. This is the level of care that all children should be able to access.

Building lasting relationships

Let's be honest: our education system is operating at a pace obsolete model. However, one of the strongest aspects of our system is its people; Despite all the challenges, we have some of the smartest, kindest, and most dedicated people working in education. And that's something to celebrate: many industries wish they had this level of employee retention. Fantastic educators create environments and experiences that promote critical thinking and instill joy in learning, making education a truly rich experience for every student.

authentic building relations with students is not always easy, but it is the most effective strategy to understand the context beyond compliance. It takes time, effort, and a lot of listening to learn more about another human being, their history, and their developmental journey. It's about being present, not being perfect. To be a truly well-rounded and caring educator, we must also become learners of our students' natural talents, skills, and leadership, who they are, and where they come from. I am here today because I had a handful of very caring teachers who took the time to deeply understand my circumstances (daughter of immigrants, single mother, living in poverty) and chose to see my potential and my love of mathematics. My educators worked with me and my family to ensure I reached my full potential, and my work as an educator was driven by the desire to pass on their care and kindness to as many children as possible.

Something that worked in my classrooms over the years was creating opportunities for meaningful interactions. Whether it was one-on-one conversations, class projects, or show-and-tell activities, I found ways to connect with my students on a personal level. I actively listened not only to their words, but also to their emotions, body language, and non-verbal cues. I tried to learn about their interests, hobbies, and personal experiences. I was also open to learning from them, because when you show genuine interest in your students, a world of possibilities opens up.

Partner with families and communities

After all, schools are the public institutions that intertwine the lives of communities. They create the space for students, families, and educators to come together as strangers and leave as a community. As Nelson Mandela said, education is the most powerful weapon to change the world. And I believe that.

Knowing the context of each student's life ensures that we recognize their cultural, social and economic backgrounds and are able to adapt our teaching methods accordingly. One thing I have learned is that teachers are experts on their curriculum, but families are experts on their children and communities have resources to share. We must create genuine opportunities to bring together these critical partners to support the hopes and dreams of our children.

I have seen firsthand how strong partnerships between families, educators, and community members can make the difference between a student beating the odds or being trapped in a cycle of generational poverty. When we invite families to use the tools we have to navigate the educational system, and in turn allow them to share the tools they have to support their students, we create educational equity.

Let's intentionally invite families to become strong educational partners and create a collaborative space that says, “I see you and I need what you bring to support your student.” When we all work together in a coordinated manner, honoring each other with dignity and respect, and putting children first, our students succeed.

Our system may be flawed, unfair, and in many ways broken, but I firmly believe that through our personal and collective leadership we can drive transformative change. We can make success stories the norm for every child, in every classroom, in every zip code. And it all starts with one thing: relationships.

So, to my fellow educators, on the hardest days and every day, let us remember why we have chosen this profession. Let's focus on our personal leadership and how, when we take the time to deeply understand our students and build meaningful connections, we can create generational impact.

As educational leaders, it is up to us to create learning environments where every child feels seen, heard, loved, respected and valued. Because at the end of the day, that's what makes the difference.