I'm not going to pretend I figured you out, Engadget reader. Trying to predict what will make your little nerd hearts flutter is a bit of a game of chance. But I'm pretty sure a Tamagotchi on a guitar pedal is what you need. Ground Control Audio was presented at NAMM 2024 with the UwU Virtual Pet Shock Absorber Pedal.
Now, shock absorber pedals are the least interesting part you can buy for your pedal board. Probably even less than a tuner. But, if you have a particularly large board or long cables, a buffer can dramatically improve your tone. Basically all it does is take the incoming signal and give it a little boost so you don't lose precious highs due to loss of tone. Like I said, it's not exciting.
What UwU does is no different, except it has a Tamagotchi-style virtual pet and a handful of built-in minigames. As you play, your new pedalboard partner dances and earns experience points. As the small cat-like creature gains experience, it evolves through 30 levels with unique animations. As for what happens once that 30-level threshold is crossed, well, the company hasn't decided yet. But there's still time to decide that, as the pedal won't start shipping until March.
If simply having a new little virtual friend on your board isn't enough for you, UwU also has three built-in mini-games. There's Long Cat (a snake clone), Fishy Blox (vaguely Tetris-like), and Neko Invader. . The small monochrome OLED and small buttons aren't exactly ideal for gaming (nor is it, I might add, hunched over a pedal board), but it feels true to its inspiration from old cell phone games.
If you're sitting there wondering, “why?” Well, first of all, why not? Secondly, to keep you playing, obviously. Finding the time and drive to play or practice guitar can be difficult. Especially if you're a teenager with a hectic life of extracurricular activities or, like me, a busy father of two with a demanding day job. UwU gives you a reason to play beyond knowing you should. Spending a few minutes each day playing will keep your adorable little UwU happy and healthy. Frankly, if I had one of these when I was younger and stuck stubbornly to my belief that I didn't need to know musical theory or technique, maybe I'd be a more competent guitarist.
Of course, none of this would matter if the UwU were a shit buffer. But it has an 18v margin and doesn't color your tone at all. It's even very small, so finding space for it on even the most crowded pedalboards shouldn't be too difficult.
The UwU Virtual Pet Buffer is now available for pre-order directly from Ground Control Audio for $139.
